When I was 15 years old, I met my soulmate. And I knew it. But when we were 16, we broke up – overwhelmed with the typical drama that plagues the teenage years.
At 28, we had lived our lives separately for 12 years – different colleges in different cities, different loves, different jobs, and different experiences. But always, through every separate thing we did, I thought of him…and wondered.
I tried to chalk it up to first love angst and mostly ignored the feelings I still had for him. But when a chance encounter brought us back together, I couldn’t ignore it anymore and I put my heart on my sleeve and told him just how I felt. I had nothing to lose – if my feelings were just a matter of unfinished business, this brave decision would settle it once and for all.
In the moment after my honest declaration, my words seemed to hang in the air like autumnal leaves ready to fall. His response? Agreement. I wasn’t imagining things or clinging to a false hope. It was real.
And so, after meeting each other for a second time as adults, we dated again, got to know each other again, and discovered, again, that we were in love. Only, we weren’t the same people we were in high school. Things had certainly changed; time had changed us. But there was something at the core of our connection that never did. And for that, I am still in awe at our luck – at finding one another twice- and living to tell the story.
Today we celebrate 5 years of marriage, and 20 years of knowing one another, and a future together that will hopefully allow us to continue to get to know each another. I don’t believe you ever truly know someone through and through. You just can’t. We grow, we evolve – sometimes together at the same rate, sometimes apart in different directions. But the one thing that holds true for us is the connection we share and the love that seems to grow and change as a sapling to a mighty oak. I cling to the hope and the belief that some things are truly just meant to be – in this world or the next – and I’m just grateful every day to be able to spend this life with a person who makes me feel whole.
I wrote the following poem to be displayed on the day of our wedding in a keepsake photo album. 5 years later, these words still ring true. Happy Anniversary to my loving husband.
When we are together,
I cannot find our beginning or our end.
It is as if we were always here,
Your eyes watching mine and
My eyes watching yours.
You have no equal in my life.
You are my constant, my compass.
Whenever I am lost,
I find my way home through you.
I know you without knowing anything at all.
But I know I have loved you, and will love you,